Midday Movie — A Quiet Place

WARNING: MAAAAAAAAJOR spoilers for A Quiet Place; minor spoilers for Stranger Things

Things I thought while watching A Quiet Place:

  1. Jim Halpert would look good with a beard.giphy
  2. They should call this movie A Jump Scare Place, because it’s kinda excessive.
  3. I like that they show the monsters pretty early on and don’t drag out some big reveal at the end. I dislike that the monsters look so much like the Demogorgon from Stranger Things.CheerfulLastCaimanlizard-size_restricted
  4. It must really suck for Jim Halpert and Daughter to not be able to have a really deep conversation about their feelings about Younger Son’s death…but why can’t they, though? Presumably they’re fluent in ASL, based on the girl’s age at the beginning of the film. It’s just as possible to talk out big emotional traumas in ASL as it is in English. Doing it this way makes it seem like Jim Halpert and Devil Wears Prada didn’t bother to learn much ASL beyond “I have always loved you” and “Have another hearing aid” which would be VERY unlike every other family I’ve ever met with a deaf child. So blame it entirely on both of them being entirely closed off by the trauma or else blame it on limited communication skills; either way doesn’t make Jim Halpert come off too well.
  5. Speaking of hearing aids, it was broadcast surprisingly early that the hearing aids would be part of the eventual solution, and Krasinski lampshades the whiteboard obnoxiously in the end scene — yes, we get it, and you should trust your actress to be able to convey that she gets it without having her pointedly stare at all the clues. YOU GAVE US ALL THE CLUES. #misterpolice453
  6. Similarly, YES WE SEE THE NAIL STOP SHOWING US THE NAIL WE KNOW SOMETHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN WITH THE NAIL OOP THERE IT IS GROSS.
  7. Devil Wears Prada is quite good, but yet again it’s another horribly unrealistic birth scene like in every other TV show and movie. I know they needed the tub extra bloody for the “SURPRISE I’M ALIVE” jump scare, but usually when a woman starts bleeding profusely from her vagina during delivery, something’s going wrong. It doesn’t usually end with a five contraction labor and a perfectly healthy mom and baby.
  8. That baby was absurdly quiet, ESPECIALLY considering we never see it eat. That baby would be STARVING by that last scene, not chillin’ silently in his brother’s arms. Screaming and flailing, that hungry baby would be. Plus, put the baby on the boob and it’ll shut right up. No worries about loud noises when its mouth is otherwise occupied.
  9. These people are so clumsy in the, what, 24 hours? we spend with them that it’s astonishing they made it 400-whatever days without being eaten alive. They knock shit over ALL THE TIME. There should be monsters in their house every single day.giphy-1
  10. I got way more stressed out by kids drowning in corn than kids actually being attacked by not-Demogorgons.
  11. I can’t believe the first thing they did in this movie was kill off a little kid. That’s a ballsy movie, Krasinski. Kudos.
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